For Michael Sean Nicolaou
She left the man she claims to be your father
I've worshipped her as long as she pretended
But to be honest, it was you who found me:
We jumped upon your bed - while I was kneeling,
We often went to town, and I was taking
Some droll requests were on your child's agenda:
You picked the flowers and the weeds like crazy,
We went for walks along the quiet ocean,
You chanted 'Kick it high!' when we played football,
'God talked to me tonight!' - Proud as ten stags
You'd ask me how to write a certain letter,
And when the Strandhill heaven smiled above you,
We conquered worlds together, we were ready
Our friendship was so tender and so stormy
Only in retrospect I saw your mother's
When now you meet me, you appear to doubt me:
I miss you when I walk the beach without you,
May nothing ever quench your thirst for knowledge,
We're separated by the fiend who freed me,
Our fate in women's clothes has dropped the curtain,
your mother has divided what was one:
though you are not my child, she knows for certain
that in my heart you'll always be my son.
and everybody else who ever cared;
instead of getting settled she would rather
chase every male to hear his love declared.
that she could love, I quivered at her touch;
I found the girl I deemed divine and splendid,
with her the boy whom I adored as much.
behind your mother you played peekaboo,
and once you flung your loving arms around me
and triumphed, 'Mummy, I caught Frank - for you!'
you tumbled up and down into my arms;
I grasped your ankles, and you walked the ceiling
with this broad smile uniting all your charms.
you on my shoulders every now and then,
and when we walked down Wine Street, you'd be shaking
your little fist and shout, 'I'm Superman!'
'What does Frank look like when he smokes his pipe?' -
You'd gnaw it, bend your head, squint up and render
a grin that's of the most mischievous type.
and in our house they covered every place;
now every dandelion and every daisy
reminds me of that bounty on your face.
collecting shells and pebbles at the beach,
and in the bathtub we have mixed a potion
from every tube and bottle in our reach.
and so I kicked it over Fairy House
over and over till I kicked the football
right through the bedroom window of our house.
you woke us at the very break of dawn.
'He has three eyes, a red nose and six legs
to walk with, and his second name is Sean.'
a certain word, and I would show you how,
and every day your skills were getting better -
I bet you are a perfect writer now!
you'd race your bike around the church, and through
the empty car park you would shout, 'I love you!'
and I'd be shouting back, 'I love you, too!'
to share the pleasures of your childhood years,
and I remember when you called me Daddy
I felt so trusted I was close to tears.
until your mother chased another guy;
she dumped me like so many men before me
and after me with hatred in her eye.
licentiousness, her weak and fickle mind,
aborting and deserting all your brothers
and sisters just to keep one ogre blind.
you hardly talk, and you cast down your eyes.
I know not what your mother says about me,
but I assure you that your mother lies.
and every time I see a father play
with merry children I must think about you,
but still without me you will find your way.
may beauty be in everything you see,
may you succeed in Epicurus' college
and be as free as you let others be.
but all our memories I cherish still,
and I'll be there for you if you should need me:
I love you, Michael, and I always will.