(Tune: Raindrops keep falling on my head)

Reindeer keep crawling on my head,
but that doesn't mean that I will soon get out of bed,
Santa Claus is tired.
Those reindeer are crawling on my head, they keep crawling...

So I just did me some talking to myself,
and I said I’d do it like my favourite Christmas elf,
sleeping on the job.
Those reindeer are crawling on my head, they keep crawling...

But there's one thing I know:
the lists ye send to cheat me won't defeat me,
it won't be long till Rudolph brings my tea to greet me.

Reindeer keep crawling on my head,
but that doesn't mean that I will soon get out of bed,
Christmas ain’t for me,
yet I'm never gonna stop the feast by complaining.
Because I'm free,
no more presents for ye...

(Tune: I’ll Put You Together Again)

When you don’t get any toys,
when you feel Christmas is over,
do not curse Santa – he was here all right
but got stuck in the chimney last night.

Yeah, Santa got stuck in the chimney last night,
got stuck in the chimney last night,
with his big belly, he found it too tight
and got stuck in the chimney last night.

His sleigh did crash on the roof,
and so did most of his reindeer.
With his large sack he came down, but not quite
and got stuck in the chimney last night.

Yeah, Santa got stuck in the chimney last night,
got stuck in the chimney last night,
with his big belly, he found it too tight
and got stuck in the chimney last night.

Now Santa Claus is no more,
neither the presents he carried.
I’m sure he put up a hell of a fight
but got stuck in the chimney last night.

Yeah, Santa got stuck in the chimney last night,
got stuck in the chimney last night,
with his big belly, he found it too tight
and got stuck in the chimney last night.

I think ‘twas wrong that the fire we did light
with him stuck in the chimney last night.

(Tune: Voodoo Woman)

They call me the voodoo snowman,
and you know the reason why?
They call me the voodoo snowman,
and you know the reason why?
Well, if I stick that pin in,
you know you kids are gonna cry!

They call me the voodoo snowman,
I made a doll of Santa Claus.
They call me the voodoo snowman,
I made a doll of Santa Claus.
I tell all you kids
that you have to blame yourselves, of course.

On Christmas Eve you took my carrot
from right under my nose,
you didn’t even ask me -
if that’s the way it goes,
you’ll be sorry on Christmas Day.
You took my carrot away
to leave it out for Rudolph,
and now you kids are gonna pay!

They call me the voodoo snowman,
and you know the reason why?
Well, if I stick that pin in,
all you kids are gonna cry!

(Tune: Bad Moon Rising)

Scrooge once went up to Santa:
‘To see that I have changed, you may
bring these ten sacks of presents
to all the the kids in town on your way.’

Tonight you shouldn’t go
out walking in the snow,
there’s a sleigh that’s gonna blow.

All gifts were wrapped and loaded,
all of the reindeer set to fly.
Santa climbed up and ordered:
‘Onward, and up into the sky!’

Tonight you shouldn’t go
out walking in the snow,
there’s a sleigh that’s gonna blow.

Santa and sleigh ascended
with all the toys for you and me,
but he was not aware of
four pounds of finest TNT.

Tonight you shouldn’t go
out walking in the snow,
there’s a sleigh that’s gonna blow.

(Tune: I Did what I Did for Maria)

Sleigh bells. This is the last Christmas I'll ever see,
down there in purgatory they wait for me,
but I go to my Lord with no fear
cos I did what I did for my deer.

As I rode into town
with the sleigh going down,
all the chimneys were barred,
there was no one around,
for they knew of my trip
with my hand on my whip
and revenge in my heart for my deer,
my dearest departed reindeer.

Take a sleigh for a sleigh
and a spine for a spine,
and somebody must pay
for that reindeer of mine,
yes I did what I did for my deer,
I did what I did for my deer.

Carols echoed across from the workshop beneath.
There was the elf; I was grinding my teeth,
every lash cut so deep and so clear
as I took my revenge for my deer.

And he fell to the ground,
raising snow all around,
which turned red with his blood
long before he went down.
It was quick, it was grim,
made it easy on him,
which is more than he did for my deer
when he did what he did to my deer.

Take a sleigh for a sleigh
and a spine for a spine,
and somebody must pay
for that reindeer of mine,
yes I did what I did for my deer,
I did what I did for my deer.

Sleigh bells. This is the last Christmas I'll ever see,
down there in purgatory they wait for me,
but I go to my Lord with no fear
cos I did what I did for my deer.

(Tune: Blowin’ in the Wind)

How many bogs must a man walk down
because one his reindeer did goof,
yes and how many miles must the reindeer fly
before he can land on a roof,
yes and how many times must the pixie lights shine
before there is definate proof?
Well, Santa found out, that’s why he’s not about,
yeah, Santa no longer is about.

How many fingers must one man have
to count what this Christmas will cost,
yes and how many times must a man look up
to see one more light in the frost,
yes and how many hours will it take him to see
that he is forever lost?
Well, Santa found out, that’s why he’s not about,
yeah, Santa no longer is about.

How many hours must a man go down
before he looks up at a frog,
yes and how many days does a body float
before it will sink in the bog,
and how many people will look for him
before getting lost in the fog?
And Santa, my child, is buried in the wild,
and Santa is buried in the wild.

(Tune: Yellow Submarine)

In the sleigh I was airborne till I landed on the roof
where old Rudolph at full speed broke a roof tile with his hoof.

And the noise woke up the aunt of the children down below,
so we had a glass of punch underneath the mistletoe.

You can blame it on punch and mistletoe,
punch and mistletoe, punch and mistletoe.
You can blame it on punch and mistletoe,
punch and mistletoe, punch and mistletoe.

Now her name is Mrs. Claus, we are happy at the Pole,
and she tells me that she knows every Christmas takes its toll.

You can blame it on punch and mistletoe,
punch and mistletoe, punch and mistletoe.
You can blame it on punch and mistletoe,
punch and mistletoe, punch and mistletoe.

Sure the lid she’s keeping on my expenses is quite tight,
and I must stay home with her over Christmas day and night.

You can blame it on punch and mistletoe,
punch and mistletoe, punch and mistletoe.
You can blame it on punch and mistletoe,
punch and mistletoe, punch and mistletoe.

(Tune: Imagine)

Imagine there's no presents,
it's easy if you try,
no blood in narrow chimneys,
no reindeer in the sky,
imagine all the children
playing make-belief.

Imagine there's no Christmas,
it isn't hard to do,
no Rudolph and no Santa,
no Scrooge or grinches, too,
imagine all the children
sharing made-up toys.

You may say ‘Where was Santa?’,
but instead you should inspire.
Someday the kids will imagine
all the toys they desire.

Imagine your own railway,
a pool of racing cars,
to own the Horn of Plenty
or seven billion stars,
imagine all the children
getting all they want.

You may say ‘Where was Santa?’,
but instead you should inspire.
Someday the kids will imagine
all the toys they desire.