Don Aherno

‘I command this family, right or wrong!’
Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) in The Godfather III

‘The most devious and cunning of them all!’
Charles Haughey about Bertie Ahern (takes one to know one, but he probably overestimated his little pupil)

They call me Don Aherno
(I don’t know why they do):
I never condemn wrongdoing
and expect the same from you.
I am this country’s Taoiseach –
in English that means chief,
the German word is Führer,
and I shall never leave.
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!

The public keep on whining
they can’t afford their bread,
but if they starve, why don’t they
rather eat cake instead?
No more he roams these forests,
the tiger of the Celts,
and it is time our people
learnt tightening their belts.
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!

Worldwide no man is dearer
as head of government,
and I have just awarded,
with all the best intent,
myself another pay rise
that has the public rage
and equals twenty incomes
on national minimum wage.
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!

A man in my position
sure needs no bank account:
my cash is in the attic
where it is safe and sound.
And if I give positions
to business friends on plates,
it’s not because they paid me,
but just because they’re mates.
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!

An anorak of Teflon
serves as my royal cloak –
though stuffed with large backhanders
it looks like I am broke.
I’m such a lucky fellow:
who else could ever say
they’ve highly paid positions
where tips outweigh the pay.
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!

I’m telling all my subjects
what and what not to do –
they won’t turn from their master
though they complain, but who
would dare to disobey me?
I tell them who gets fed,
and how to heat their houses,
and when to go to bed.
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!

I’m a self-righteous tyrant,
and yet the voters see
in me the undisputed
head of the family.
They fear the raging despot,
the grump who tolerates
no question – the unjust father
who everybody hates!
I am the boss of Ireland,
and I get paid up front,
and I can do whatever
the bloody hell I want!


© 6249 RT (2008 CE) by Frank L. Ludwig


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